| so tonight on my way home, i stopped by walmart for a tv dinner. i ended up with three. as i was walking out to my car with my bag in hand and i got a funny feeling. like i could be somewhere else at that moment instead of going to my home of 12 years. i was at the corner of allen heights and exchange and for a brief moment, i pretended that those streets were different streets in a different town, somewhere else... and i got excited.
when i was 6 years old, i kept a brown paper grociery bag under my bed. it had a few days worth of clothes in it. i guess i always knew one day i'd get up and leave. i've just never thought that i could actually do it. i hope one day, i'll put aside all the realistic worries and concerns about moving and i'll just go.
i feel that i've already lived as much life as i can here. nothing new is going to happen. if you were to pack up a few things and drive away, which direction would you go?
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| well, i used to be somebody i wanted to be. i'll get there again soon, i'm sure. i've just lost my way.
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| i was told by someone last night that i have really big balls.
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| i learned today, actually just this moment... that the reason why i dont do anything is because i'm afraid. i'm afraid of failing.
that is really sad actually.
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| ok. so i broke up with ryan. its offically over. its actually kind of a relief.
on a lighter note.... this guy wants me to join his band... but its to play the keyboard! i dont play the keyboard. i'd also sing some and play a little guitar. what do you think? should i go for it?
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